I feel like the guillotine is meant as a symbol. I am also not gonna cannibalize these fucks, but I will tell you to eat them still.

That's not very carbon neutral...

The device you want is called a wood chipper.

A particularly slow and unsharpened one, though.

Feet first.

And doused in pure capsaicin.

And after having had a branch of that tree that makes you want to kill yourself rectally inserted.

The question is, where do we point the wood chipper?

That's what I don't get. If I'm determined to off myself, why not take someone with me that would make the world a better place to be without? I definitely have a name at the top of my list, but since I'm not suicidal, it just remains a fantasy.

I hope this post doesn't get me added to any lists myself. I'm talking in hypotheticals here.