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What is the most unhelpful advice you have received? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 years ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

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[โ€“] 64 points 3 years ago (2 children)

Me: having a hard time mentally and emotionally Someone: "You need to pray to God to make your troubles go away."

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  • [โ€“] 30 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    "Nothing happens in god's world by mistake." "God never gives you more than you can handle." Etc etc.

    When 1 in 6 women has been sexually assaulted in their lives (and many men and NB folks), that's a really fucked up thing to say. You never know what someone's been through, and I've personally been through a lot of awful things. I guess it helps some people to tell themselves this kind of shit, but it is impossible to me to think of any kind of meaning that would make being a victim of violent crime "positive" or "worth it" or "a learning experience" blah blah blah. I think the term for that is "toxic positivity."

    So either "everything happens for a reason" is utter bullshit, or god is a sadistic fucking asshole.

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  • [โ€“] 15 points 3 years ago

    I'm a Christian but I support the school of thought that says "shit happens".

    Another problem with the thinking "everything happens for a reason" is that it can lead to belief in "the just world". When one thinks that life is fair you start to believe that bad things only happens to bad people, ie they deserve it.

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  • [โ€“] 10 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Am I supposed to upvote this because it's awful advice or downvote it because it's depressing advice?

    It seems like this person either had success with their advice or had nothing to say, but felt the need to say something.

    My favorite advice for clinical depression is "just snap out of it."

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