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What is the most unhelpful advice you have received? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 years ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

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[–] 185 points 3 years ago (2 children)

Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, "That is not my job" was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers.

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  • [–] [S] 82 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Oof. A lot of "helpful advice" about jobs is helpful not for the workers, but for the owning class.

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  • [–] 64 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    The problem is that when the people giving that advice were working, it was great advice. Companies took care of their employees. Tenure mattered. Companies today are mindless corporate blobs that only care about spreadsheet numbers and the next quarter's results.

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  • [–] [S] 47 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Maybe in some situations in the past owners were better to their workers, but in many cases there is an unbroken line of exploitation going back in the past. The idea that exploitation is an extremely new phenomenon benefits the owning class by concealing the long and bloody history of proletarian struggles.

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  • [–] 19 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Some of that advice is true ... work hard, work at something all the time and do your best ... but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.

    I'm Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life ... building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time ... I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn't work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.

    Twenty five years later ... I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt ... I'm not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .

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  • [–] 20 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Your experience is the exception rather than the rule. It's been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 years ago

    I agree that the whole rags to riches idea is a complete sham that doesn't exist ... unless you are already born wealthy ... and then that doesn't make any sense because you never had rags to begin with.

    My story is more rags or bare clothing ... I'm not wealthy ... I just have enough to be comfortable ... I'm not in debt and I drive old beater cars and trucks and never owned a new vehicle in my life ... I bought small properties away from big city centers where land is cheap but living is hard

    And yes ... I know most people are probably not capable of doing what I did ... I grew up with lots of people in my situation and I was fortunate enough to figure a way out, mostly through the luck of finding the right partner who worked just as hard as me, parents who were great guides and teachers and a small network of family and friends I could count on.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 years ago

    I have a less impressive, but similar story to yours. I’d say it’s fine to work hard and do work that’s not your job, but the key is to follow through by demanding the proper acknowledgement and gratification for it. Like, doing it for free a couple of times to be nice is fine, but after that, the value you bring with this has to be properly acknowledged and compensated.

    If you’ve been working hard and helping out, and an employer doesn’t gratify you to that value, the proper response is not to give up and pin it on hard work being the problem. That employer is being the problem. Try to change that if you can at all.

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