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This is a config issue, you have your VPN set as the default gateway instead of just for the specific subnet of your home network.
By default tailscale will not be a default gateway or subnet router, it will only give access between 2 devices with tailscale installed.
Oh that makes sense because when i originally set it up, i did want all traffic routed through it. I guess i didnt realize it didnt have to be
Yea, gotta turn off using an Exit Node that's on that network.
Also, sometimes Tailscale's Magic DNS seems to override other name resolution and will route over Tailscale instead if another network (eg LAN). You can avoid this by using IP addresses instead of DNS if you have issues.
For example, when I'm home and try to RDP to my server, sometimes TS DNS resolves the name and routes over TS, although it's on the same LAN. If I RDP via the IP address of my server, it's noticeably faster. If I turn off Tailscale, it's faster, even using DNS, because then it resolves to the local, not TS, address.
So basically, if I disable/re-enable TS on my laptop, DNS works fine. Think it's just a bug.