I, personally, grew up with a giant lack of self-confidence. After I turned 25, along with quarantine to truly understand myself, I feel I have gained more confidence/self-worth.
My field is technology, but most of all my friends are not "engineers" and I have felt I have been missing out on some key bonds that are preventing me from sharing my knowledge to grow with them in a mutually beneficial way. I felt most of my friends were of the business kind that "always had an idea" and had a pocket engineer to talk to.
But, recently the past 2 years I have been more "mature" saying no to things or starting to give low-level, instead of high-level, overviews about certain topics. I felt it was in-fact hurting my career, to not talk in-depth so I began to join discords and build up my social vernacular observing/conversing with engineers online. But, whenever an in-real life discussion would start with a topic that I had researched, I would always make sure to "correct it" in case fake observations are brought up and/or decisions were made based on them.
Lately, though I have felt I have lost bonds with almost all of my in real life friends. And I can't tell if, I am the *sshole, or if I have just "grown?". I have felt that I was always aware of how I shared my "side of the story" and/or reasoning behind my decisions respectfully. But, I just can't get it out of my head that I am in the wrong in some way.
My SO struggles with this too. I just get by with only one or two people I’d call friends and that works for me. I don’t need a lot.
But my SO struggles with friends in much the same way. They are always the one to reach out to the friends and ask to schedule things and plan in advance but it’s never the friends reaching out to do the same. I consider those not real friends - they’re friends out of convenience because it gives them something to do sometimes instead of actually caring.
So maybe keep track of things like this and see if your friends are actually friends and they care about you or because they get bored and occasionally want things to do.
It seems to me to be pretty normal as you age to distance yourself from others. Especially if you’re in a relationship and/or have a career or job you’re passionate about which it appears you care a lot for your field. Those two things alone will eat up the majority of your time. Throw in friends with that who also may have relationships and jobs etc that eat up all their time too. So naturally it’s difficult to plan things and people fall apart. Totally normal.