this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Another player who was at the table during the incident sent me this meme after the problem player in question (they had a history) left the group chat.

Felt like sharing it here because I'm sure more people should keep this kind of thing in mind.

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[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I never said feet.

That is so inconsequential. I don't care if it was the tip of their elbow. The part doesn't matter. Why focus on it? You're doing nothing but distracting by pointing at something that doesn't matter.

That was my argument on her.

This whole time I've been talking about the act and that I don't know this person. Once again, not what I've been talking about. I care about the act because it is selfish. That is why my first post on this I said "Just because you made a selfish choice doesn't make you a [selfish] person..."

It only affects her.

No, it does not only affect her. Have you never lived with people or been in a community. It takes time and effort to take care of people. If you're 'sick' and people take care of you, if you expect people to have the same amount of support after denying the 'cure' you're being selfish. If we keep up treating everyone the same, then we cannot 'step up' to help sick people.

You say she treats them like they’re just hands and feet, which is simply wrong.

You should re read what I typed..."[I]put myself into the shoes of someone who is helping her. "Oh, all I am is a foot?""

Nothing in this situation harms anyone,

Which is why I tried explaining why I put harm in quotes. I didn't argue she is giving people super cancer by not accepting help or not getting arms ~~and feet~~ re-attached

Her disability is not a burden on anyone.

Any ONE? sure. Not what I'm arguing. It's great that everyone helping her has the time and ability and desire to help her.

You seem to have started arguing against a phantom in the middle there

Yeah, anyone with experience is just traumatized and reflexively saying that everyone is just pushing that trauma onto others. You don't know me, you should give me that respect. That's why I made no judgement on her overall character. I don't know that. But the act is obviously selfish.

implied that the only reason to do nice things is so other people like you?

If you break it down like that why not take it all the way? The only reason to help people is because it gives ME feel good brain juice 😈 What about the only reason to help people is to manipulate them into giving me their efforts when I request them 😈 didn't you know, helping people is the most selfish act of all 😈

If you want to know how I feel about "help" is that it is just an inherently good thing to do. I chose my career specifically to help people.

She’s not pushing anyone away.

Good thing it's a fantasy comic.

her learning to accept their aid

Even if I agree with you on everything, how is that supposed to show she isn't acting selfish with her choice from earlier?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Why focus on it?

Because it proves you weren't paying attention.

If you’re ‘sick’ and people take care of you...

She isn't sick. Nobody is taking care of her because she's missing an arm. She's just as capable with one arm as you are with two. She'd receive the same amount of support with or without an extra arm. She could have ten hands, and everyone would still offer theirs to help her at a moment's notice. She doesn't demand it, she just knows it's coming.

I didn’t argue she is giving people super cancer

I didn't say you did. But there's not even an imposition. There's no discomfort. Nobody suffers even a tiny bit. The only difference is the number of arms a woman has. Considering you aren't arguing she's a burden, what "harm" are you implying she's causing?

You should re read what I typed

I did. You said the people helping her feel like she's treating them like feet. They don't. They feel like family. She's treating them like family.

That’s why I made no judgement on her overall character.

You said that her not wanting to accept a gift for free was a result of trauma, and she was pushing people away by remaining in that trauma. There is no trauma. You created a phantom person with a phantom problem to complain about.

If you break it down like that...

But that is what you said. Not all that other strawman bullshit nobody even implied. You said helping people makes them like you. It doesn't. It might, but nobody has to accept help they don't want. Forcing help on someone who doesn't want it can cause problems, or they might see it as a debt they're uncomfortable with, and it can actually be pretty cruel. This is why people have to stress to her that there is never going to be any debt imposed on her and she still feels uncomfortable accepting it.

I hope to fuck that the people you help in your career actually WANT your help.

But the act is obviously selfish.
Even if I agree with you on everything, how is that supposed to show she isn’t acting selfish with her choice from earlier?

How? How is turning down regeneration because you think the effort is better spent elsewhere, or offering to pay someone for a dress, selfish? And how is it "obviously" so? How does her choice benefit her or disadvantage anyone else? How is her choice selfish?

[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago

You obviously don't care to engage with anything I'm saying, taking the worst possible interpretation possible. Now you're throwing around insults. You don't care to have a conversation. I'm going to take a guess and say it's your attachment to the comic.

Good luck, and I hope your disposition improves.