couldn't you just mute whoever was giving you grief?
Until and unless it is followed up by in-game griefing or disrupting the game because of pissing contests, sure.
But again my point still stands: the games that abolished officially posted K/D ratios did it for player retention purposes. The "couldn't you just mute them" attitude clearly wasn't keeping those players being harassed by sweaty "hardcore"
around. Couldn't you just play games that kept K/D ratios?
The sacred number let's a player know if what they're doing is working.
Yes, and many players that you're ignoring and/or invalidating don't want some random sweaty
to "let them know what they're doing is working."
It also gives a number for your friends to rib you for
Yes, and that "ribbing" is where the toxicity and harassment of strangers in particular comes in and why games that don't have K/D ratios officially in them made that decision.
and that's fine. If someone says I'm shite at call of duty, well, they aren't wrong. If they're going to annoy me about it they get a mute. No problemo. 2 clicks and it's done. In a decade of playing COD I've never actually had to do that.
That sounds like a very old and tired "you would not have survived the good old days lobbies I come from where I was tempered in the fires of N-word screaming" internet warrior take. 
I've only ever received abuse in tryhard games like DOTA, and once again, mute and done. Why remove long standing features of games
Why do you need the tryhard thing in games that are clearly trying to retain players that aren't tryhards. The thing is already removed and apparently the games and their playerbases are fine enough with that to keep on keeping on.
when you could just leave it up to the players to decide?
It seems that you want to decide for other people that you've already ignored and/or invalidated, all because of your personal desire to "rib" them and "let them know what they're doing is working." 
Again, clearly the games that opted out of K/D ratios did it because in the balance they would rather keep more "casual" players instead of have them quit and go somewhere else over the almighty mandate of "ribbing" them to "let them know what they're doing is working" and that they're "shite" and other exhausting
shit.

