so youre not a teenager, eh?

These are teenagers. Buying anything is done under the consideration of how cool it is. Literally everything else is not important during consideration, what matters is having the thing that makes you socially accepted.

If old school cell phones with monochrome pixel displays and zero functionalities beyond telephone and sms were trending, instead of just being a niche for people fed up with social media, kids would buy that in a heartbeat.

You probably forgot how overwhelmingly important social status and belonging to a group is at that age.

Well my fridge is an essential device and it's cool.

But probably not cool with teenagers though...