One of the most important and beneficial trainings I ever underwent as a young writer was trying to script a comic. I had to cut down all of my dialogue to fit into speech bubbles. I was staring closely at each sentence and striking out any word I could.
Whoops missed it was the second sentence, where I presume Hariezier has not actually arrived at Hogwarts. For some reason I assumed it was the interior of Dumbledore's study.