I don't remember this being an issue in my previous relationships, although those scenarios were different since we were always friends/colleagues first and met organically. They would pay a lot of the times, especially early dates.

Now, I've been taking a different approach with dating and trying to meet a few more people on the app rather than narrowing down to one right away. But there are a couple guys who either asked to split the first date or if I could cover the tip which was awkward because of the detailed allocation that would be needed. That said, I had offered first as I don't want them thinking I'm taking them for granted. Ultimately the one who asked me to cover tip footed the entire bill which must have been over $100. I covered our second date which was around $78 and then offered to chip in again on our third date, to which he said let's split it down the middle. It's confusing because I've heard guys will ask to split the bill if the date isn't going well, but we seem to be getting along well and chemistry/banter is great. While I'm glad he eventually covered the first one, the tip thing is still odd and I also did cover our second date. I know many women will expect to not even touch their card for at least the first five dates. The way I see it, why does it need to be split so evenly each date when we can just take turns and it settles over time, and if not, we still enjoyed the time spent together.

I can't help but wonder - for the vast majority of the time, do guys really split the bill relative to how interested they are? Women, do you feel offended if they do or don't mind, even if you value chivalry? Do you offer to chip in, or just see if the man covers it or asks to split? Should I stop offering in general, and should I keep seeing this particular guy if I like him otherwise? I should note that I'm also between jobs with one lined up, so is this the main reason they're hesitant? I'd really appreciate any help or advice!

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[–] 4 points 4 hours ago

Why the fuck are you having strangers pay for you? Do you have no money?

I always pay for my partners or friends. But a stranger on a date? I'm not looking for sex work. I'm looking for a human connection. Pay for yourself.

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