I don't remember this being an issue in my previous relationships, although those scenarios were different since we were always friends/colleagues first and met organically. They would pay a lot of the times, especially early dates.

Now, I've been taking a different approach with dating and trying to meet a few more people on the app rather than narrowing down to one right away. But there are a couple guys who either asked to split the first date or if I could cover the tip which was awkward because of the detailed allocation that would be needed. That said, I had offered first as I don't want them thinking I'm taking them for granted. Ultimately the one who asked me to cover tip footed the entire bill which must have been over $100. I covered our second date which was around $78 and then offered to chip in again on our third date, to which he said let's split it down the middle. It's confusing because I've heard guys will ask to split the bill if the date isn't going well, but we seem to be getting along well and chemistry/banter is great. While I'm glad he eventually covered the first one, the tip thing is still odd and I also did cover our second date. I know many women will expect to not even touch their card for at least the first five dates. The way I see it, why does it need to be split so evenly each date when we can just take turns and it settles over time, and if not, we still enjoyed the time spent together.

I can't help but wonder - for the vast majority of the time, do guys really split the bill relative to how interested they are? Women, do you feel offended if they do or don't mind, even if you value chivalry? Do you offer to chip in, or just see if the man covers it or asks to split? Should I stop offering in general, and should I keep seeing this particular guy if I like him otherwise? I should note that I'm also between jobs with one lined up, so is this the main reason they're hesitant? I'd really appreciate any help or advice!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 3 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

Man here. Call me old fashioned.

If a man proposes a first date, he's paying for it. Tip and her ride home included.

If the person he asked wants to cover the tip, they are free to leave whatever they feel is appropriate without looking at the bill.

If you don't want to give them your address you can refuse the ride.

Subsequent dates are open to negotiation, but if the guy is taking the lead, he should be ready to take responsibility for all costs

imho

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

    If she proposes a first date do you expect her to pay for everything?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 2 hours ago

    This is almost like a theoretical question lol. I've been on plenty of first dates and I've proposed all of them. I think generally speaking that's how most women prefer it, I can't even think of a time where a woman seriously pushed to split the bill.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 2 points 6 hours ago

    I don't expect anything.

    If I ask a woman out and she says she wants to pay, I'll offer to treat her, and if she says no we'll split the check.

    If she asks me out I'll offer to pay for us both, and if she insists on treating me I'll be grateful.

  • source
  • parent