I mean, I get the rational reasons for it, I do. Planned Parenthood is the only provider around here that actually knows anything about transitioning so I went to them. Then I got this spiel about how they help people who "aren't medically complex." I get it, I have cancer, it's already fucked up my life, so much so that I'm finally feeling brave enough for this... to get kicked to the curb and to go to a fucking endocrinologist that will take three fucking months to get in to? She has to ask her fucking director for permission since I basically begged to not just shuffle me off, but it sounds more like they'll just kick me back to endocrinology and I'll have to wait months for my referral to go through.

Anyway, fuck everything about this. My stomach feels sick and empty at the same time. Why does every little thing have to be so fucking stupid and hard.