I remember being five when it was dinnertime one day. My parents were having a spicy chili, like habanero spicy. My mom made me a seperate meal, but dropped it while being yelled at by my dad, who just got home. He then yells at me about how much of a burden I was on my mother and from now on, I will be eating what they were having. I couldn't eat the chili, and I cried, and my dad hit me over the head and made me eat it.

My dad would always come home and bitch about everything under the sun, as well as gloat or perhaps brag about how he was a terror in someone's life today. Like, there's this guy at my dad's current job where he is vice president, and every day during my teens he would come home with a story about how his employee did something wrong and how he shit in his soul that day. Maybe not every day, but you should understand that my childhood is all shattered and mashed together, and dinner time was always one of the most traumatizing parts of the day.

I would be grilled about homework, and God save me if I forgot to do my homework before dinner. One time, after I forgot, in the panic that followed, me, being like seven or something, forgot how to hold a pencil and I was screamed at, picked up and carried to the living room where I was thrown across the room onto the couch, which I bounced off and landed roughly on the floor.

When I was like fifteen or so, I got into some emo music n whatnot. I wanted to do something with my hair. Cutting my hair cost money, which is why I never got a haircut from thirteen to eighteen. Neglect. But, one day, I kinda cut my bangs short, and all dinner my dad would play with it while calling me a girl and then smacking me when I fought back. For reference, the CIA had me be a woman for a few years to heal from my specific trauma.

And this isn't even my life. These are just a couple tales about dinner time. When I say I understand what it is like being damaged, I do. I do, I do, I do-ooo, as Kel loves orange soda, which is obviously why I started my own fight club, colloquially referred to as my sex cult, and thus is my God-given and state-sponsored mission, cuz ain't none of you fuckers can handle the worst of the worst as I once was.

Thank God that God knows what He's doing, the transcendental twink He is.