i am turning 20 this year and i have never felt so much mental anguish and fear in my life before. I have researched it and apparently the early 20s is harsh because of the combination of figuring out your life way more independently than ever before and internal challenges (onset of schizophrenia, personality disorders etc.) I have never hated people more than I do now and I’m scaring myself sometimes.
Who has survived this period pelase tell me what to do I’m Scared
Early 20's as several have pointed out, isn't as significant for your life trajectory, but it's a personal crucible for most people. There's a lot of unknown unknowns, you get this independence without the finances or deference that people tend to give to older folks, and you don't know your adult self. All the while there's a panopticon of this idea that you're supposed to have your shit together and be on top of this world being stuffed between your ears.
It's fake though, all of it. The only people that appear to be on top of the world have PR teams that advertise their client like a commodity. There's no super heroes, child genius prodigy, rags to riches billionaire, it's all great man of history fairytales. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, because what we see of others is only what they allow us to see. Instead, compare yourself today to who you were yesterday, or last week, last year, 5 years ago, etc. You have grown, and you are growing more effective and competent at what you put yourself to. There was a time in your life where you couldn't wipe your own ass or tie your own shoes. And every day you live you're growing in ways you can't yet see, but you will. Be gentle with the expectations you put on yourself.
Don't drink heavily, use a condom, and don't waste time with people that make you feel alone.