I read all 284 pages of this slop-tastic fever dream because I thought that it must be some sort of satire. Nope. But it did inspire me to stop lurking and make an account so I could share some juicy tidbits. Especially since I can't leave a review for the author on Amazon cause I don't buy enough shit. Any ways, enjoy a few context-free quotes before I mulch this book.

'For Celebration of the Wise (aka Sagan's Day Eve), Ellie uses the small form Tree of Knowledge-- a table-size Bodhi Tree-- rather than the larger faux evergreen style. Portraits dangle from the branches. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Bill Nye. Booker T. Washington. Madame Curie. Lise Meitner. Christopher Hitchens. There are other 2x2" portraits in the 21-person set, but she prefers simplicity. Bill Maher and Hillary Clinton were on last year, and the year before, but now it's time to let some others shine.'

'Alden ate his sausage and hash browns while watching the governor of Montana speak with the morning hosts of Fox Nation live. He's discussing recent successes by border militias battling Chinese drug cartels operating at the Canadian border. "If you're going to buy meth and ruin your life, you're going to have to buy American."'

'With God as our guide, we will help citizens maximize their income to live wealthy lives.'

'Blue speaks through the banging, "We must protect the masses from their extremism, Allie. By seeking to become the dominant ideology they will destroy all parties involved. Utopia is an impossibility. Do you agree?"'

'Sam gets out and walks to the bar. Alden follows her, trying not to fixate on how she waggles in the denim skirt. It's probable he is angry at himself while thinking of his mother's words, "They don't wear it for you to look. They wear it because they like the way they look in it." But was it some crazy coincidence that what many feminine identities like to wear happens to be the exact type of thing cis-het-male identities can barely look away from? Things are different in the Red states though. You can look. It's bait, decoration, natural attraction, biology. His transition mentor said so.'

'Allie chuckles. "I don't think anyone ever got lynched in Mississippi or left for dead in Wyoming because they like to pony-prance."'