116
I never realized how hard country/rural living would be (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
89 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I was born and raised in a large midwestern US city. A few years ago, I moved out to the country. Like, 30 minutes away from any services. I made the move in part because I sold myself on a vision of Hobbiton. Living in and around nature. Away from the lights and cars and problems of the city and instead forging a life of pastoral relaxtion, gazing on sunsets while smoking my pipe.

But it was a mistake, and I hate it out here.

A caveat to start off... when someone mentions how they hate country living, there are typically two kinds of responses. One is from people who were raised in the country and love it. I think this describes a very small fraction of the population, though. If you’re in this category, good for you. I’m glad this all works for you but you’re not my audience here. The other type of response is from city dwellers, who when someone mentions rural living, are all like “awww that sounds like heaven to me :)”. People who, like me, think if they just had some land and a homestead they’d be living like BIlbo Baggins. Well it’s not that.

A big thing you don’t realize is just how important it is to get to simple services like groceries or just a haircut. Did you start making a recipe but halfway through realize you don’t have any cumin? In a city you can run out and be back in a few minutes but out here you’re gonna be gone at least 70 minutes. And getting a haircut literally involves planning a “haircut night” once a month because it can take up nearly a whole evening. If you need a taxi and it ends up costing a small fortune and had to be scheduled ahead of time. The distance from services really is death by a thousand cuts and it can really start to grind you down.

If you don’t have a place to run or have the space and money for some home equipment, forget working out. And btw rural areas are incredibly hostile to running, unless of course you own a ton of land and make your own paths. Running or biking on the roads is incredibly dangerous.

I have not had any medical emergencies (alhamdulillah), but I am very cognizant of the fact that for any urgent medical issue, I’ve already lost like an hour of time before I can get treated; which could make a huge difference in outcomes for my family.

You are on Mother Nature’s home court here. And she does not want you here. I’m currently just accepting all the ants and pincher bugs that are all over my house. Using a sonic system to keep out the mice but it’s not really working. Can’t let the kids play in the grass because of rattlesnakes. You just have to be comfortable with all sorts of creatures around. Dealing with the elements is just more challenging out here.

I know people feel (and are) isolated and alienated from their fellow humans in cities, especially under capitalism. But my friends, you really cannot understand just how isolated and disconnected you feel when you physically live distant from another human. It warps you as a human and turns you inwards. It fosters a clannish, blood-relations-only mentality. Marx totally had the peasantry pegged in The Eighteenth Brumaire, potatoes in a sack who only watch out for themselves.

And it’s not like the people you do have around you are all that great to be around, let’s be real here. In the US at least, rural areas are home to some of the most reactionary, anti-social people in the whole country. Because there’s no few people around here anyway (not to mention the chud nature of the people who are here), organizing is basically impossible. Closest DSA chapter is at least a couple hours away, never mind PSL. There’s just... not really much here to organize.

But honestly the worst and real heart-breaking one is... as a parent, I am hoping to god that I can move us to city before my kids get to old. Because I dearly hope when they’re adults they choose to live reasonably close to me. But when you live in the middle of nowhere, there’s just no way they can live nearby, there are no jobs. So the rural life breaks up extended families. Yeah sure even if I lived in a big city my kids might want to move away, but at least there, there’s opportunities to stay around.

And maybe I’m just mad at myself for not realizing how good I had it back in my big city hometown. And for practical purposes I am 100% stuck here. And for those reasons maybe I get unreasonably annoyed and people who idealize country living. At the very least, before you think about moving you should be aware of the downsides.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 28 points 2 days ago (1 child)

I grew up in a house in the forest four kilometres outside of a small village. I had the same experience that many others have of rural communities as intolerant. My parents were artsy intellectual types who didn't have that much money and that made me the weird kid in school, which was ten very lonely years. That sucked.

Being far from convenient services also sucked somewhat but I was a kid and I was used to it so it didn't bother me.

What didn't suck was that I had this huge forest I could roam around in. There was fresh air and no traffic. If I wanted to swim I could walk ten minutes down to the beach. I often miss that and being this close to nature.

I moved away to study and have lived in cities every since. Once in a while I toy with the idea of moving to the country, of getting an old farmhouse and have lots of space. But then I realise how much I like the convenience of living in the city, how I love my 15 minute commute and my easy access to groceries, healthcare and other services.

I'm probably never moving back to the countryside but I do o like going there once in a while.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 13 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Pretty much all of this. Grew up on an actual island where you had to take a ferry to the mainland that sometimes broke. We lost electricity often and running water in the winter sometimes when everything froze.

    The place wasn't even a town, it was a village of about 800 people. Who did not like us as we moved in from the city when I was little. The school years were rough, the bullying was intense.

    Services were ok though because it was still welfare state times thanks to our big Soviet neigbour. We even had a store truck that came by a few times a week so we could buy some treats.

    But I loved the nature, the ocean, our home, the fact I could see the Milky Way on a clear night. I miss those things, but did leave for high school at age 16 and been mostly a city gal since.

    I sometimes dream about being that person again who wakes up at dawn and goes out to give food to the animals in freezing rain and then has to light a fire in the kitchen to make coffee and feel warm. A person who hauls firewood all day long, which is what it was like.

    But I live in a city in a comfy warm apartment where I don't have to own a car and have a store minutes away from my doorstep, along with lots of nature trails close by. And I know that I just don't probably have that in me anymore.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •