Didn’t fuck up the global economy with dumbass trade wars and dumbass regular wars.

Yes he did.

Didn’t attempt to control the media

Yes he did.

Didn’t try to sell off national park land to oil companies and logging companies.

Yes he did.

Was arguably doing the best he could to get the economy back on track and inflation under control, instead of doing the exact opposite.

I didn't see that happen at all.

Didn’t accept extravagant ‘totally not a bribe’ gifts from semi-hostile foreign nations.

Yes he did.

The rest I agree with.

But you’ve got to admit that Trump is demonstrably, materially worse in a lot of ways.

I do agree that Biden was marginally better. But that's not the claim that was made. The claim was that Biden was "still infinity better".