cross-posted from: https://feddit.online/c/theonion@midwest.social/p/1919135/carney-to-rename-rest-of-great-lakes-as-lake-legal-adult-so-trump-will-never-want-to-to

OTTAWA – After Donald Trump signed an executive order renaming Lake Ontario “Lake America,” Prime Minister Mark Carney announced he would preemptively rename the rest of the Great Lakes as “Lake Legal Adult” in order for the president to immediately lose interest in touching them.

The Beaverton is a satire website.