you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[+] -19 points 3 days ago (3 children)
  • [–] 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    Making a lot of assumptions here.

    The women standing in this picture could be in a polycule situation with the dude at the table and he could be stepping out on all of them with the seated woman. It could be a group of single women playing a mean-spirited prank on their friend's lame first date. It could also be completely fake and made for attention.

    I know there are a lot of monogamous people out there who talk shit about polyamory, largely out of ignorance or envy, but there's no need to mirror that energy back at them. It won't change their minds or stop the shit talk and it just increases the level of negativity surrounding the conversation. Remember, the sweetest revenge against your haters is to live your best life.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago

    Wtf is that sus link?

    Have you considered the third possibility that I mentioned? That it might be fake and for attention?

    the sexual liberal partner

    You're aware that polyamorous relationships require clear communication and boundaries to not become abusive, correct? Just like monogamous ones do? From your word choice when talking about a potential cheater, I'm getting the impression that you don't actually know what a healthy relationship is let alone what a healthy polyamorous relationship is.

    ...but judging by your other responses in this thread a productive conversation is not in the offing, so I'll just end my part of it here and wish you a good day.

  • source
  • parent
  • [+] -13 points 3 days ago (1 child)
  • [–] 15 points 3 days ago* (1 child)

    That link shows a chicken with pigtails?

    Anyway... being poly isn't a bad thing. Being poly and lying to a partner that your monogamous, kinda is. If one party of a relationship changes their mind after commitments are made, the other party should be made aware before anything is acted on. If not, they are a lying piece of shit that can't be trusted. Pretending to be monogamous just to trick someone into a relationship until your bored with them, despicable.

    Edit, lost my last word on posting.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [+] -7 points 3 days ago* (3 children)
  • [–] 5 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    How much media that is put out is just because people engage with scandalous shit? If people didn't, we might not have had to deal with reality shows or viral media apps. Of course there will be people using social media that want to be part of that. Sex and scandals sell.

    I do think it's odd that you think that me sharing my own views is patronizing you. I just gave my 2cents, from my personal experience, relating to cheating partners. Not all cheaters are poly, seen many cheaters choose a monogamous relationship later in life. They were just too cowardly to be open and honest with their partner(s) or worse (in my opinion), openly lied to a partner about their cheating. Some were poly, and it was a realization they were aiming for a relationship they didn't really want, but had been raised by a society that said they did, and had tried to believe it. Does not excuse the cheating though.

    My real only point is/was: Whatever your sexual preferences are, lying to an intimate partner about who you are intimate with is a shit move, and makes that liar shitty.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    I don't even know what you are trying to claim? You keep linking to a wiki article that just lists the status of legal polygamy in different countries and hoping people draw the same conclusions you have.

    You also keep claiming that the man being accused of cheating is sexually liberal just because he has chosen to cheat, but I think that you would have to assume that he didn't expect his partner to be A monogamist for him to be actually liberal about sex and not just an asshole.

    Countries with legal Polygamy can still utilize social shaming and the law to sexually oppress their partners. In fact some of those states have some of the most severe punishments for infidelity on the planet, and they are typically hyper patriarchal and have laws only utilized against women.

    You can't be sexually liberal while still expecting your partner to practice monogamy.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [+] 0 points 3 days ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Notice the sign says “I love McCheating on my wife”. Not “I love McLying to my partners.” My issue is with monogamous domineers

    I guess what I am trying to understand is what part you are being critical of? That the wife would choose to divorce their husband because of his infidelity? Or the concept of marriage being a legal concept?

    Something I hope we disavow.

    Obviously, but I fail to see why you chose to specify western/American law/culture when we see similar social/legal constructs all over the globe regardless of their attitude towards polygamy.

    But the opposite situation is what transpired here:
    monogamous domineers expected honesty in a sexually liberal society.

    What is your definition of a sexually liberal society? Regardless, the socially acceptable mores do not inherently apply to the dealings between two consenting adults who have defined the bounds of their own relationship.

    Otherwise this wouldn't be public shaming McChat event

    I don't really understand what you're implying here. Imo she felt hurt and shame about her husband breaching the terms of their relationship and felt the urge to lash out at her husband. Now I don't really condone that behavior, but I can understand why someone would feel that way if I shared the same belief system.

    “the divorce papers are finalized! 😁✌️×4 😭” “omg bae, when my cray fae in crime tells me ‘not to worry about it kitten’”

    Also didn't understand what you're going for here, but I suspect that is mainly due to me being middle-aged.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [+] 2 points 3 days ago (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    That the relationships were as fickle as a McChat. I am unsure why you keep being confused these are USian mongamists. They expect an honest exclusive partner, and found out he was dishonest inclusive partner.

    Okay, so the overall criticism is about sexual exclusively in general, but specifically when tied to legal ramifications. I guess I can understand that, but to be honest, I don't really know if I agree that sexually inclusive relationships are any less fickle. I also don't think the fact that they are western/American really is relevant considering sexual exclusivity isn't really unique across different cultures.

    That partners are liberally free to have sex with whatever they want?

    I think the confusion I had was because in different post it wasn't exactly clear if you were assigning criticism towards both partners, a single partner, or the concept of monogamy.

    is morally irreprehensible in a liberal society.

    This is something I still don't think I would fully agree with, but I can see your point of view. I personally think it's perfectly fine if two consenting adults want to agree to enter a monogamist relationship.

    Yet they still chose to downrank my comprehension of the mcnogamist domineers spectacularizing a relationship situation. It didn't have to be a public event at all. But they liberally choose to.

    Like I said, I personally don't think it's very tasteful, but I wouldn't read too much into it as a comment about monogamist domineering. To me I would more attribute it to people being messy bitches about their personal business.

    I can boomer-translate it for you:

    Lol, yeah...... Would not have guessed there was that much information conveyed in a couple sentences. You are really making me feel my age.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [+] 1 point 3 days ago (1 child)
  • then we wouldn't have never seen this picture, at all. In a restaurant, with a branded theme. You have to admit the theatrics are unnecessary, no?

    Yeah, I already said it was trashy..... That does not affect how fickle inclusive relationships are? I think you could reasonably claim that breakups in inclusive relationships are less dramatic, but I wouldn't say they break up any less frequently.

    Then don't use law, or theatrics to reinforce this

    For one, I never argued in favor of the theatrical aspect. Secondly I don't think the law is utilized to reinforce it, at least in countries with no fault divorces.

    Yet bigamy is illegal, in all US states. Meaning that the majority do force monogamy on others against others.

    Just because you cannot legally marry more than one person at a time does not mean you cannot engage in sexual inclusivity. Nor does that mean I agree with all aspects of marriage laws in the US, or that I think bigamy should be illegal, but that isn't exactly what we've been discussing.

    Then please educate yourself some more, because I am older than you, and I can still keep up😊

    Lol, I'd hardly say that not being on snap chat qualifies as being uneducated...... Though I would be impressed if you were actually older than me, probably not a lot of people older than me on snapchat.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 9 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    the problem with "cheating" is the dishonesty NOT the social unacceptability

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 3 days ago* (1 child)

    I have zero issue with people expressing themselves sexually in relationships that aren't non Monogamous, but eople should be in the loop on what kind of relationship you're in with them.

    I personally wouldn't want to be in a non-monogamous relationship. Even when I was single I didn't like dating multiple girls at the same time.

    When I meet my wife I had been on a few dates with someone and had a date planned for the next day. The person I had been seeing called off our date morning of and that's when I asked my coworker who introduced us to give her my number.

    I've had FWBs but didn't date others while we were hooking up. Was down to hangout and have sex with them but not build a romantic relationship but I was still monogamous with them and all I asked is they give me the choice of they start sleeping with someone else

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments