No worries, and thanks so much. I am, too. When we get sick of ourselves, we learn and do the work, or keep blaming everyone else and don't.

Before my last big breakthrough with crappy romantic relationships, I was sitting alone and didn't leave my home for three months, while I kicked drama (my own and others'), alcohol, weed, cigarettes (still vaping though, let me be honest), wondering, "why did this and that one treat me so poorly, when I treated them so well," and saving grace of saving grace, the thought popped into my head, "You let them." It was the beginning of learning how to set healthy boundaries. Not walls, which are isolating and keep us suspicious, grasping, and nasty, nor wide open, for anyone to exploit. And maybe that's a lifetime lesson, EE will occasionally trust one who is faking and distrust another who is sincere. The point is learning from mistakes, and discerning when someone who wrongs me has wrong character, in general, or is just going through their own stuff and had a momentary lapse of reason.