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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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To add to this, vaginismus can be as much phycological as it is medical. Having bad/painful experiences with piv sex can cause a 'feedback loop' making things worse. There's also some medication that can interfere with 'wetness', for a lack of a better word. Lube is a godsend and can help alleviate initial pain allowing you to relax, and may be enough to start building up positive mental associations with penetrative sex. But most of all, do seek medical advice, it's not supposed to hurt.
Also, you can ask for a smaller speculum when going for a pap smear, - I didn't know that and had a horrid experience that stopped me going for my next one for nearly a decade. (I'm better at self advocating these days)