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update on my last post ive lost this battle truly
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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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In my comment on your last post I neglected to talk about college, since there are a lot of factors in play there, and it wasn't clear whether my USA-specific experience would apply.
Typically for people in uncertain situations at 18-19 I recommend taking a few classes at community college. Tuition and fees for these for two semesters cost maybe a month or two of minimum wage earnings (as opposed to universities which cost half a year's worth), you're not penalized for taking less than fulltime, your classmates are more working-class, and you can transfer to a university easily for the second half of a bachelor's degree. But if you're under the shadow of your mother, this changes things.
The university as a stand-in for parents is a very real thing; a lot of the subtext of their marketing to parents is "we will keep your kid as a kid, but you won't have to worry about them".
Use this "support" to your advantage. Make sure to choose a college that is not within commuting distance. This will rule out the possibility of forcing you to commute, but also mean that she won't be able to visit you during the week. Neighboring state colleges usually give you in-state tuition. Peek around and find something you like, but preferably look for a campus that's not in an exurb or <10k pop rural town, so that there are more opportunities for you to catch. Justify it to your mom with a combination of programs offered, tuition, and intangibles like what gives you good vibes about a college.
[Side note: It is July now. Don't most 4-year colleges and universities have an application deadline in the spring? This something with a long process leading up ti it.]
If the college is already chosen and wothin commuting distance, continue to see what all you can do there. Academic-adjacent stuff, clubs, any kinds of events they have at the student center or library. Also, look into transferring somewhere that gives you breathing room, often times it is easier to transfer in once you have a semester or two under your belt already. Jumping from branch to branch is scary but getting out of an abusive situation is usually a good enough drive to leap.