I feel like we're having two separate conversations.
What the Lemmy devs do with their instance is separate from what they do with their software, imo.
I've said this many times before but as I see it we have two bad choices:
Lemmy, whose devs are arguably questionable with worrysome personal politics and philosophy but who do not bake said philosophy into their software.
Or Piefes, whose devs are arguably much more acceptable and well-meaning, but who bakes their social philosophy into their software.
To me, these are both bad options, but I'll pick the side that develops agnostically without nannying tendencies. That they chose to enact stricter political bounds within their home territory is irrelevant to me because I don't spend time there and that feels well within their rights without encroaching on the autonomy of others, to me.
Or, in short: I don't care even a little bit about Lemmy.ml, I only care about Lemmy.