"Goon crazy style" is slang for watching porn. It also happens to be a hyperbole, since watching porn clearly isn't as bad as jerking yourself to a medical condition.

What should the non-hyperbolic version of "let’s compare dropping bombs to reading about the war." (assuming that's the sentence) have been?

To me it appears that you tried making a comparison of VerilyFemme's comment under a wrong assumption (eg. that it was about public masturbation), and now are trying to cover it up by calling it a hyperbole.

Anyway, as you stated I'm here to laugh, and not to write reports about misunderstandings taken to the next level.