I was 'orphaned' 15yrs ago when my dad passed. My mom had already passed 3yrs earlier.

Now, I do tend to agree that "orphaned" is a fair application of the word when there are major unresolved needs or un-learned skills (etc) in the child that only the parent can teach. And hey, I was definitely in that category due to a hellishly difficult-to-identify disease I'd suffered since childhood. But that's just me, and it could be almost anything going on with other people.

The basic idea being that you still needed something from your parents, but weren't able to get it because of their passing, I guess.

I think maybe the biggest thing I long for and regret to this day is not being able to have enough adult-to-adult conversations with my folks. One in which I could come to the table having a basic core set of life experiences and accomplishments that my parents shared, and go from there. It would have been fascinating, I think.

Unfortunately too much of the time our interactions leaned too much towards my own ailment and the problems and awkwardness it kept bringing. Seriously, that kind of thing can be a real confidence-killer over time, tell you hwat. Like the child constantly being put in the unwilling position of being an embarrassing burden, even in to adulthood, nominally.

Oof, not sure I explained very well, but there it is.
@schwim@piefed.zip