Hey I'll give it one more shot to remind you that you are a valuable person with inherent worth, and you deserve to walk through life with self-respect and confidence. You did nothing wrong to be in the position you are in. Walk with your head held high and present yourself with the respect you deserve. All us healthy people are suffering every day waking up and dragging our asses to jobs we don't want to be at just to earn as much money as you are doing nothing, so although you're not feeling physically well, you are living the dream, money automatically deposited into your bank account every month while the rest of us have to be literal slaves, breaking down our spirits & our bodies & our minds working soul-sucking jobs to barely eke out survival.