When I'm autistic, which is always.

Edit: Seriously, I should cut the laconism and just say upfront that you're ascribing intent to me that's not there, which I find hurtful and upsetting. I think it's significantly more passive aggressive and toxic to be accusatory towards an autistic person who phrased an idea poorly than to be an autistic person who occasionally phrases ideas poorly. I'd rather hear "this comes across as passive-aggressive, consider changing your phrasing in these concrete ways" or even "I get that you didn't intend it, but I found this hurtful because it came across as passive aggressive to me" or even just "please clarify your intent". Those are far more productive things to say in this situation, because miscommunications happen, even miscommunications that hurt people, but if you don't go around assuming ill intent from people then I won't have to go around overthinking my every word because I apparently have to worry about strangers accusing me of being mean on purpose at the drop of a hat.

I will inevitably fail at saying the right thing every time. When something like this happens, I will remember crying when my least competent old teacher as a kid accused me of lying about not understanding my assignment when I was genuinely confused by it; then I will curse that I evidently have no safe space even online where neuronormativity doesn't force me to invest more energy into casually existing there than a neurotypical has to invest, because this sort of thing is always just around the corner. Do I need to start talking like a lawyer all the time? Like a Greek philosopher? Does everything I say need to be at least two paragraphs with citations? Should I just start speaking my personal conlang 24/7 in protest, given that people won't understand me no matter how I talk? Seriously! Ugh.