I would generally agree, that socialization plays the major role. As far as premeditated conscious aggression goes.

In 'The female of the species is deadlier than the male"

Kipling's argument was that a lot of animal species fight duels, but these duels are more or less ritualistic, meant to intimidate and force the other one to back away rather than to cause harm. So there is presumably a phisiological mechanism that prevents males from engaging in actual figthing, and then from going in for the kill in these types of situations.

While females only fight when they are forced too, for prey, self defence, or when defending their young. So there is no reason not to go for the kill.

In a human context, this would probably make a lady commander who was socialized for it, more decisive all things equal.

On the other hand, testosterone meses with stress responses, so the type of stochastic violence when someone suddenly snaps seems more likely to be male regardless of socialization.