I remember when I was about 8 I asked my dad (who had the typical cul de sac bald on top thing going, and was a general practitioner) why he didn't use any of the hair growth pills. He told me that he would "rather have a dick that worked and no hair, than a full head of hair and a limp dick".

I still kinda wish he just told me "there are side effects", I was fucking 8.