this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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return rant incoming:
i'm glad it's you saying this, and not me. i think it's important to say, but i cannot handle all the bullshit hot takes that i would have to deal with afterwards.
i cannot stand when people tell me to try to be nicer, say it in a gentler, more pleasing manner, try to be more considerate of others feelings, maybe try wearing some nice clothes or makeup so that i feel more confident. i do all of those things in my day to day life, and it works. that's kind of the problem. it's expected of me, a woman, to speak or act a certain way. if i behave in a way that is not matching ppls' invisible expectations of how a woman should behave, they get very uncomfortable with me. on the internet, it translates to ppl thinking it's their business to tell me what to do :) i am pretty sure that if i were to write this same post in a "feminine-sounding" way, the reaction would be different (IMO in a bad way).
it also pisses me off when i come across ppl who think of life as a game that needs to be won. the moment i show any amount of emotional or passionate speech, i lose - my words become invalidated because i am expressive, therefore i cannot control myself? i don't really get it. i think there's a good number of people on the internet who take pride in holding back their emotions. i guess public display of emotion is shameful for them? basically anytime i say anything passionate online, ppl think it's their duty to convince me that i'm wrong LOL
my family members are purposefully ignorant towards LGBTQ+ and i'm terrified that they'll say something hateful in public. for now, i'm trying my best to hate the behavior, not the human.
Yes!
Thank you!
I feel all of this but lack the ability to verbalize it. (I'm no wordologist)
You make me feel thankful I made this post. I almost didn't post it because I wasn't sure it was my place to speak up, but I know how exhausted I feel with all of this (including the "you got angry, I win" style of discourse). I hope things improve.