this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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Sounds like what you might want is polyamory
I myself relate to what you're saying a lot, with the exception of also wanting/having romantic feelings. I just don't vibe with all that's involved with monogamy
I mean yeah but not really. Poly is still about romantic relationships and still has a sense of hierarchy. Romantic relationships are still very much prioritized over other relationships, they just add extra layers of romantic hierarchy. Many poly people end up with one primary partner they prioritize over others, with secondary partners needs usually being overridden by the primary partners needs almost by default. It still feels just as exclusive and gross to me. I want multiple sex partners but I don't want anything to do with someone who thinks they get a say in how I spend my time or with who.
There are many flavors of poly, you sound like you fall into relationship anarchism/solo poly, which is pretty much what I practice, as that's what appeals the most to me.
I don't want to have a say in what my partner(s) can or cannot do, it doesn't feel right to me. I want them to spend time with me because that's what they want to do, and it's not appealing to me to essentially make decisions for them. I don't want to make rules and essentially establish any form for power or control over my partner(s). Maybe it comes naturally to me as I'm already an anarchist politically, I dunno, but either way
It's about finding the right people that suit you, really, I think