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If you can read this, the Ansible playbook mostly Just Worked™ to install it on a clean Debian VPS. I actually did start over at one point because I wanted to change the domain name after learning there's not currently any way to use different domains for the UI and usernames like there is in Mastodon (relevant github issue); from that, I suspect it should be good about not clobbering anything except maybe SSL certs for existing nginx sites.
For some reason, my nginx also now seems to try to use the cert lemmy installed by default, even on a site I just set up to only listen on port 80 (http://gillen.dev). So that's kinda weird, but just installing a new cert for such a site with certbot fixes it (https://sdg.fyi).
It still seems to be struggling a little bit: votes and comments on this thread are taking a looong time to show up here (your comment just got here and it says it was from 24 minutes ago)... or maybe I'm just impatient :)
Of course, the real test will be when it comes time to update to the next Lemmy version...
Thanks, that's good info. If I do go forward, I was planning on going the Ansible route, though I've never used it before.
I've read that it can take a bit of time to sync when you first federate, but that after some period of time it gets closer to real-time with posts and comments.
it is easy enough. Simply run the playbook again. well, git pull the ansible playbook again and then run it. alternatively you can just use docker compose now on your lemmy server. I made some aliases on my lemmy instance based on what i use elsewhere. I think I got them from a linuxserver.io tutorial ages ago. you will need to adjust the container versions for this to be viable as the version is hardcoded and they only have a "latest" tag for arm.