Ubuntu is what I was endeavoring to install.

I googled all sorts of things to no avail. Now, software solutions seem moot because it wont power on or even charge.

I should google "how to charge a laptop battery when it's removed" or "do new laptop batteries come pre-charged" ... I feel like if I can get some juice, i can reset the bios to default and hopefully undo my power issue. Then, i can start this whole thing over again with extra caution.