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this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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TechTakes
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Big brain tech dude got yet another clueless take over at HackerNews etc? Here's the place to vent. Orange site, VC foolishness, all welcome.
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got my Urbit newsletter for this quarter (or whatever the fuck the cadence is) and what stood out to me this time was nockchain.org. I was going to sit and do a deep dive to come up with sneers for this but I just don't have the executive function right now. @self thoughts?
dear fuck just when I think I’m out urbit pulls me back in
analysis coming soon, I’m reviewing some technical sources provided by a world-class cryptocurrency expert (yes it’s @dgerard@awful.systems) and howdy fuck does this ever resemble the cardano grift but with Haskell replaced with a much worse ML with a much less coherent type system
Urbit moment
Are there any resources(read: sneers) on cardano*? I have a family member who is into that shit.
* Cardano specifically I mean, I am already aware of the extensive literature on crypto in general
It's a very elaborate parkour trick in Haskell that through piles and piles or rigorous category theory manages to achieve Nothing in a type-safe manner.
That sounds awesome and right up my alley!
…oh, it's some financialized gambling racket bullshit thing never the fuck mind
I mean, technically it can be anything you want as long as you never deploy it, which I think is the tagline of Haskell
here's mine on their foray into smart contracts https://davidgerard.co.uk/blockchain/2021/09/06/news-the-eos-ico-was-a-fake-pump-cardano-smart-contracts-fail-cycling-vs-nexthash-microstrategy-de-indexed-el-salvador-live-tomorrow/
cardano is a shitcoin for traders to trade like a shitcoin and it pretends being written in Haskell by a mathematician who failed to get his degree, lied about going into a Ph.D program and claimed to have worked for DARPA but did not makes it very interesting and not just a shitcoin. this turns out not to be the case.
tl;dr UTXO was always fucking stupid if you wanted a system that did more than be a basic shitcoin
if a family member is into cardano nothing will get through. charles is a mathematical genius you see.