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Couples with big difference in sexual drive, how do you get along? (lemmynsfw.com)
submitted 8 months ago by to c/asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com
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So, I'm in a long-term relationship with my loving partner, and everything is good, except for the matters of sex. Suffice it to say, one partner (male) has a very overwhelming sexual drive, while the other (female) needs sex like once a month (and it has always been so throughout life). Partners are monogamous and do not explore options of having a third party.

Can any good advice be derived for such cases? Is there something that can be done to improve things on each side? I would love to hear your advice.

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[–] 8 points 8 months ago (1 child)

We were in the same situation and tried many things.

After years, we reconsidered the idea of non-monogamy. With a lot of communication, honesty, and clear boundaries (no polyamory, no relationships with mutual friends, strict STI prevention, etc.), it turned out to be our solution.

Now, it's no longer a source of tension in our relationship, and I have one more hobby.

I'm not saying it's the solution for all couples. But it's always worth discussing things we thought were set in stone.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 8 months ago

    True!

    Though I'm very worried about the fact that such a switch often comes as a slippery slope. It sure takes a LOT of communication and reassurance to get going, and if something isn't done just right, it can collapse the relationship altogether, rotting mutual trust. The anxiety about this alone may actually ruin any sort of practical realization on my end.

    Besides, I'm not sure I can find all that many people so sexy in the first place. There are things I want to try which are not possible with her, like, the simplest of things, trying an actual dick, but I'd be hard pressed to find someone I'd be horny enough for. With all my drive, I'm quite sexually loyal, it seems.

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