I know exactly what you mean. When I (cis man) was freshly 18 in the 00’s I was indecently assaulted by an older woman in a bar when I walked past her and her group of friends and I never reported it. I have friends who experienced similar who never reported it either. When I told my friends that night what had just happened I was told I was lucky to be non-consensually grabbed by a woman. I tried to tell myself that was the case for a long time; it took many years before I came to realise that I was assaulted and, by that point, there was nothing I could do about it.