You forgot "Fuck Cars". Just buy a bike you prick. It's only a 15 mile trek down a gravel road with no sidewalk.
"I can't believe how selfish you are."
"Just move"
"Everyone should live in this very tiny city that has good public transportation"
"Just don't have kids so you won't need to transport them" (Even if you already have them. Just go back in time and don't because cars are bad. O K.)