I moved from the US to Europe and one thing that surprised me is people don't actually dread the holidays. I promise you this is related to this chart.

In the US I spent 8 of the last 12 Christmases alone. Of those 4 Christmases where I was not alone, one was spent with my friends parents (who are Pentecostal; my friend and his wife cut contact with them one year later. The mom yelled at me and lost her shit when I went outside for a break away from the chaos). And another was with my landlords family (MAGA takes from crazy people, with my favorite being "I don't believe in the constitution because no one follows it, so I only follow God's law".) But that landlord was actually pretty good by landlord standards.

What I've found is that people only invite you over for Christmas if and only if they want a guest to "keep the peace so people have to be on their best behavior." After the Pentecostal Christmas, I have declined going to Christmases if I figure out that is why I am wanted there. Fucked up to do to someone already alone.

Some people will go "go to a soup kitchen" or "volunteer" online, which, to be honest, is given by people who have never done that during the holidays. It's good for sure but people will always ask you "why are you alone on Christmas" and you are constantly reminded that you are alone. It's okay to do this once or twice, but when you are with a lot of people it will be brought up a lot. Or you have to deal with an asshole, that's another issue. A lot of these are also ran by religious groups shoving shit down your throat (I lived in conservative areas most of my life, so this was always an issue). People will do anything but invite you to a normal Christmas. You know, liberal lecture bullshit.

My standards aren't high, I promise you they aren't. My fucking expectation is not DV, political fights, religious shit shoved down my throat, liberal lectures, or constantly reminded I am alone. That's apparently too much to ask for in the US.

The point I am getting is that there is worse than being alone, it's being surrounded by people that make you feel alone. US holidays are full of political fights, liberal lectures, and power moves ("if you want to celebrate the holidays, you gotta fit in with our weird religious bullshit"). It's fucking awful and I could see why someone would OD or drink themselves brain dead to avoid the holidays ahead of time, or right after so people don't have to find their bodies on the holidays. It's fucking November 2nd and I'm already fucking dreading it. I get this chart; even when we are supposed to celebrate being together it brings out the worst in the US.

I'm going to Spain for 3 kings day. I think Christmas is permanently fucked for me.