boonhet comments on I went to an anti-tech rally, where Gen Z dressed as gnomes and smashed iPhones. Here's what I learned.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 months ago (5 children)

It's not that the trains are so full of drunk homeless people, but that trains are affordable and also conductors aren't going to physically throw out a person that could get violent. Planes you don't really get on without a ticket. An entire class of people are filtered off the plane because of that.

And anyway, said group are a minority, but they're the only ones who randomly talk to strangers most of the time. Everyone else minds their own business in my experience.

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[–] jve@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (4 children)

the [drunk & homeless are the] only ones who randomly talk to strangers most of the time

I’m not going to question your experience too much, but it’s sad to me that this would be true.

A random conversation in a random interaction with somebody you could have easily not talked to can be great fun.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 point 11 months ago* (3 children)

It is great fun! That's why I essentially lived at a bar for over a year and nearly always went alone. So many chance encounters and some people I still talk to. Plus even if you're away for a year or 2, the regulars will remember you and come talk to you. Downside was spending 500 euros a month or more on beer.

But public transport? Nobody wants to be there. You've got a goal and it's not socialising, it's getting somewhere. Maybe you're anxious about going to the doctor, maybe you're anticipating a shitty workday. It's annoying to have to talk to other people when you're trying to think about things.

In our culture this is seen as normal: you keep to yourself in public unless at some place where socialising is the norm. And small talk is really hard for us. Other than the weather, wtf do you talk about even. That's why you don't surprise attack people with small talk.

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[–] jve@lemmy.world 1 point 11 months ago* (2 children)

But public transport? Nobody wants to be there. You've got a goal and it's not socialising, it's getting somewhere. Maybe you're anxious about going to the doctor, maybe you're anticipating a shitty workday.

Fully with you.

It's annoying to have to talk to other people when you're trying to think about things.

I would argue that a large chunk of the people you describe above are not “trying to think about things”, they’re just trying to get to point B. They’ve got a goal, after all.

And again, research consistently shows that these interactions tend to be viewed much more positively after they happen than those same people expected them to be, and it holds for either side of the interaction.

I’m sure I’m preaching to the atheists here in the comments. All those replying here all seem to be convinced already, and that’s fine.

Guess I just think it’s interesting that those that would bother to come on the internet to talk to strangers are so convinced that it would be annoying to talk to strangers.

People on the bus or train are just people.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 point 11 months ago (1 child)

I would argue that a large chunk of the people you describe above are not “trying to think about things”, they’re just trying to get to point B. They’ve got a goal, after all.

This might be a me thing. I am never not thinking, planning, solving problems. My brain doesn't do idle very easily.

People on the bus or train are just people.

You're from a different culture probably. Literally, most people don't want unsolicited interactions where I'm from. If someone's approaching you to start a conversation out of the blue, they're going to be asking you for booze or cigarettes. Or money. Or they already got their booze and now they're making small talk. And for 50% of the population, the other 50% of the population can be seen as threatening based on gender alone. So it's polite to just shut up and let other people be. You gotta have a reason for talking to people who aren't expecting to be talked to. Not bothering anyone is part of our culture. You don't go to the ER unless there's an axe in your skull, because going there just because you're only MILDLY dying, would be bothering the doctors and nurses and all in all just too much of a fuss.

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[–] jve@lemmy.world 1 point 11 months ago*

Literally, most people don't want unsolicited interactions where I'm from

You’ve talked a lot about this with others I take it? Got good data to work with?

If someone's approaching you to start a conversation out of the blue, they're going to be asking you for booze or cigarettes. Or money. Or they already got their booze and now they're making small talk. And for 50% of the population, the other 50% of the population can be seen as threatening based on gender alone.

These percentages do make your vibes and intuition much more convincing.

So it's polite to just shut up and let other people be.

It’s not impolite, sure.

You gotta have a reason for talking to people who aren't expecting to be talked to.

I do have a reason. You just don’t personally like it, except for the other times when you choose it. You’ve convinced yourself that I must want something, so stranger danger bad.

Not bothering anyone is part of our culture.

Which culture is this? How is “bothering” defined? You seem to be acting like eye contact and a smile means I’m after your money

You assume I’m bothering people. I assert that I don’t believe it to be true. My point of view had some evidence, which I have linked throughout these comments. Yours are stated as fact despite clearly just being your vibes.

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