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People whose parents have become fascist, how are you dealing with it? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 11 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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I have 2 GOP parents, one that voted Trump originally and one that did not. Over the last 9 years, I have watched them both travel down the MAGA pipeline to become visibly fascist. The parents who taught me racism was wrong and to have empathy for others, have become openly hostile about immigrants, Muslims, and even parrot the Nazi "great replacement" theory.

Part and parcel with this, they refuse to have any discussions about the facts -- like immigrants not stealing and eating people's pets. They won't hear it, they won't even engage in the conversation...they just get angry and loud the second they hear anything that doesn't fit into the Fox News narrative. Can you relate? How are you dealing with it in your relationships with your parents?

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[–] 101 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Well, one of them died of COVID-19 without telling me that they even had it, and I don't speak to the other one.

My dad did not tell me because he knew I would tell him I told you so when I was like, wear a mask, keep your distance, maintain safety protocols at all times, follow what the CDC is saying, treat this seriously.

It was literally weeks before the vaccine became available. Like if he had just, like, two more months, I would still have my dad.

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  • [–] 52 points 11 months ago

    Ah I’m sorry to hear that. My parent swung hard into the same propaganda and obviously ended up catching a severe case, multiple times in fact. Survived, but they’re like a totally different person now. Extremely hair triggered and aggressive, easily confused about things that always used to come naturally.

    I think it’s literally a case of brain damage from catching the virus so many times. Been pretty awful to watch. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive the conspiracists. Sorry again for your loss, hope things are moving in a good direction for you and yours

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  • [–] 25 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    My parents were both... medium-core republicans. Didn't go to rallies or buy swag, but they weren't interested in non-R candidates or ideas. Dad died of covid before the vaccine was available. Pre-existing immune deficiencies. He was one of the ones they couldn't fit in the morgues because they were all full. My mom watched all this happen, still refused to get vaccinated, got covid twice (that she told me of) and died of "complications from asthma" two years after the vaccines were generally available. IDK what role covid played in her death but I doubt it helped much. I really don't know what I could have said to her if watching dad pass in isolation wasn't enough. I think about it a lot though.

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  • [–] 11 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    God fucking shit it breaks me heart to hear that. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    My mom is quite pro science and my dad became a bit spiritual, conspiratorial and anti-science, but none of them were hit that hard. I feel like I'm in the opposite situation where I technically can try to convince him to change his mind every time I see him but he is extremely stubborn and there's no way. In fact it will make him dig in deeper and the only way for him to change is by himself.

    Fuck this timeline I want a reroll.

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Thanks ❤️ I really wish I knew what to do, because I still have relatives on both sides that are deep in the cult. Not to mention my inlaws 🤦 They occupy a spectrum of dangerous / crazy and some of them I don't talk to at all, some I still talk to occasionally but it's hard to figure out where the cutoff line is. I think I've had some productive conversations around how dangerous Trump / MAGA are, but it's hard to tell because I think the effects only manifest in the long term really and it's hard to tell whether I'm helping or just pushing them away. I don't think anyone suddenly has a lightbulb and thinks "Oh god, I'm in a cult", at least not in my experience. It's more gradual and requires sustained conversations, which incidentally is why cults generally encourage victims to cut off family members who aren't also in the groupthink. So, I just try to meet the ones I don't think would likely try to kill me for being trans where they are and do my best to be a good influence in the sphere of influence I have.

    As for the reroll, lol I hear ya, but as a wise wizard once said, "so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

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