We're clearly not going to come to any meaningful consensus. So I don't think continuing to argue is in either of our interests. I would always refer to terms like wife and husband as an expression of gender identity rather than the gender identity itself. But if you define things differently that's fine. My education is in neuroscience so I think of gender as being hard wired into our brains and universal across cultures. Any chosen labels I would regard as expressions of gender rather than Inherently part of it. And something I'll gladly leave to psychologists and anthropologists.