tbh, when I hold hands with my partner I think people still don't see us as lesbians - they will assume anything else instead, like mother / daughter or "friends", the heteronormativity results in my queerness not being seen or acknowledged. I've even kissed my partner, rubbed their back, and so on and still they won't assume I'm gay from that. Part of it is that we're both cis-passing and both femme - neither of us looks butch.