I'm sad to hear that, though I'm not surprised. I still struggle to identify what posts are a part of my local instance and what posts are a part of the larger fediverse.

For what it's worth: I think the admin of the midwest.social instance is amicable to hexbear, I haven't seen any indication from him that he has a problem. I'd likely reconsider that instance if he defederates, I think hexbear has nothing but improved my experience.