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Thing is, you can trade off speed for quality. For coding support you can settle for Llama 3.2 or a smaller deepseek-r1 and still get most of what you need on a smaller GPU, then scale up to a bigger model that will run slower if you need something cleaner. I've had a small laptop with 16 GB of total memory and a 4060 mobile serving as a makeshift home server with a LLM and a few other things and... well, it's not instant, but I can get the sort of thing you need out of it.
Sure, if I'm digging in and want something faster I can run something else in my bigger PC GPU, but a lot of the time I don't have to.
Like I said below, though, I'm in the process of trying to move that to an Arc A770 with 16 GB of VRAM that I had just lying around because I saw it on sale for a couple hundred bucks and I needed a temporary GPU replacement for a smaller PC. I've tried running LLMs on it before and it's not... super fast, but it'll do what you want for 14B models just fine. That's going to be your sweet spot on home GPUs anyway, anything larger than 16GB and you're talking 3090, 4090 or 5090, pretty much exclusively.