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๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€ (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 years ago by to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[โ€“] 144 points 3 years ago (14 children)

I already don't eat breakfast and I'm still poor, what now WSJ???

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  • [โ€“] 74 points 3 years ago (4 children)

    Economists hate this one SECRET HACK you can do to avoid poordom. Among investmentology specialists it is a well guarded secret that switching to a making money framework instead of the popular losing money framework has a long term net positive effect on your private economy.

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  • [โ€“] 26 points 3 years ago (3 children)

    Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder

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  • [โ€“] 9 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    My bootstraps broke when I pulled them harder.

    Turns out the local company that made bootstraps for 125 years was bought out by a hedge fund, which promptly fired all of the workers and subcontracted manufacturing to a company in Sri Lanka who could make them much cheaper by using inferior materials and by paying the Sri Lankan workers in 6 months what a fired local worker made in a day.

    Ironically, the hedge fund CEO with the MBA he received as a legacy admission to Cornell only wears slippers because fuck you, I'm the boss.

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