English is 3 or 4 languages melded into one.

There's the Germanic old English which gives most of the base language. This is mixed with Norse from the viking invasions. Then aristocratic French came in around 1,000 years ago. Underneath it all, some regions have Celtic influences.

Of course there aren't consistent rules.

I'm not sure what you mean here. As far as spelling goes, Dutch is far more consistent than English.

You're mentioning some none-standard Dutch which is often perceived as incorrect (and it is indeed according to the rules of the standard language norm). Yet, if you were correct in your claim that 'groter als jij' was 'never proper Dutch and sound[s] wrong to every native Dutch speaker', no native Dutch speaker would ever use 'groter als jij'. Native Dutch speakers do this often, though, and have been doing it at least since the seventeenth century (eg. this quote from 1670: 'Zy [de vrucht ”Peci”] is niet veel groter als een kastanie …, vol sap en aengenaem van smaek: herder dan een gemeine appel, en een weinig zuurachtig,' - 'It [the fruit "Peci"] is not much bigger than a chestnut ..., full of juice and pleasantly tasting: harder than a common apple, and a bit sourish,').

Sorry to have gone so off-topic here, though.