My interpretations of the Bible are as useful as my interpretations of any other fantasy series. Just because something has a deeper meaning doesn't mean it is useful, correct, or should be followed. Every episode of South Park ends with what lessons they learned. It's also more up to date and in tune with the realities of the world around it. The reason people don't worship South Park is because they haven't been systematically brainwashed to do so.

How I know this: god told me so

The Bible's track of history is unique in that it doesn't just show when the people written about did good, it also shows when they did bad. David was good, until he got into that affair with Bathsheba, and indirectly got her husband killed in battle. He was called out on that part by a prophet speaking in behalf of God, and the only reason he lived was that he repented, but he still lost their first child because of it.

Solomon was the king with a thousand wives. He asked God for smarts when presented with an option to ask for anything and be granted it, and he was granted that and more for thinking spiritually and not materially, but then he started getting into the whole wives and concubines thing. Another example of "started out good, but then got sucked into doing bad", as he was given advance prophecy that Israel would be broken into pieces over this. Which happened when his son took over and made things worse.