I had an incident not pertaining to a joke about 6 months ago at a gas station that stuck with me. I walked up to the counter to pay and the person sitting behind the counter talked to me. I said can I put $20 on pump 5. They said card or cash, as I handed them a 20 and said thank you sir. She responded "It's Ma'am, I'm a female!" in a demanding tone. And I was in the wrong for assuming or what not but I'm sure she was slighted because she had dysplasias that one could mistake for a form of 'male pattern baldness" (also dysplasias, but beside the point). That poor woman likely never transitioned but was born that way and has been mistook so many times that my tired ass rushing in and out saying thank you with the wrong gendered term was enough to hurt them.

People will tell me it's dumb that I hold onto it in my head.. but the truth to me is that it was transient second that happened when I hadn't even truly looked at the person and I laid a burden of hurt onto someone who had been carrying a barrell of hay waiting for that straw apparently.

So me being sarcastic about so much all the time sometimes brings me back to thinking about her, where "it's fine 99% of the time" accidentally hurts that one person and feels guilt. (Not sure how our conversation just went there, damn sorry for the random dump)

It doesn't mean we shouldn't have fun or joke, but it makes me more wary