So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[+] 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)
  • [–] [S] 15 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    i think it's sort of a compounding effect of various societal norms regarding what is considered "masculine and respectable" that causes a lot of friendships amongst men, and amongst cishet men especially, to be very shallow and impersonal.

    Based on what I've read, this seems like it's very much a modern thing and that deep male friendship was the norm throughout most of human history.

    Relevant poem:

    They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead,
    They brought me bitter news to hear and bitter tears to shed.
    I wept as I remembered how often you and I
    Had tired the sun with talking and sent him down the sky.
    
    And now that thou art lying, my dear old Carian guest,
    A handful of grey ashes, long, long ago at rest,
    Still are thy pleasant voices, thy nightingales, awake;
    For Death, he taketh all away, but them he cannot take. 
    

    ~ Callimachus, Elegy for Heracleitus

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    That whole sense of "hugs must only last for a maximum of two seconds and must include slapping the other's back as a gesture of dominance/patronage, otherwise you're gay"... where did that come from? The culture celebrates being mentally (including emotionally) stunted, and has a thousand ways of mentally stunting people, more emphasis than almost anything else.

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