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Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[–] [S] 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I've always preferred to wear my hair a little long, when I was in elementary school the other kids called me transphobic slurs several times. To be clear, I am cis, but it still hurt seven year old TheLepidopterists's feelings.

I'm sorry that happened to you sadness

It's of course a bit different for me, but I also really hated being made to feel ashamed for anything I might do that could be considered "girly" at all. I even made a funny post about this topic recently. There is a scene in I Saw the TV Glow where the evil dad says something like "Isn't that a show for girls?" and it cut through me pretty hard having heard it so many times and having that fear/shame ingrained into me. But yeah, policing gender norms is pretty evil, including when it's done to cis men, and we should all push back against it whenever and wherever it appears.

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